Nope.
Well, I'll just bang it out anyway. So I found out yesterday that I'm doing a different runner position in RRR than I thought I was. Instead of runner 9 I'm now runner 2. This means that I get to run, for my first leg, a beastly little climb they like to call "El Diablo". Or at least they should. Turns out (I'm just noticing this as I look at the leg listing) they call it "The Diablo". I'm not quite sure what's with the Spanglish there. Maybe they just don't know? Maybe they don't care? Maybe they're trying to ensure that native English and Spanish speakers alike are terrified by the mere name of this leg of the relay. I don't know. I can tell you this though, I'm terrified. Not by the name, but by the run itself.
This pleasant little jaunt starts out at 9750 feet in the parking lot at Brian Head. It then proceeds to climb to 10,400 feet over the next 1.8 miles, at which point it levels off somewhat and climbs another 60 or so feet over the last mile (which I'm guessing could either feel like a downhill or painfully slow torture after the nasty 650 feet in 1.8 miles I will have just endured...) - so all in all a very nice, easy run. Or a kick in the teeth. Punch in the neck? Groin shot? Pick one...or maybe more!
In the face of this disgustingly difficult and dastardly dash (alliteration - I took English!), one might expect many reactions. In the past, mine might have been something akin to..........sorry, had to catch myself as I ran screaming in the other direction. Now? Bring it on! The page in the race map PDF that details this leg has a little picture of a devil winking and saying, "DO YOU DARE RUN THE MIGHTY DIABLO? I WILL DESTROY YOU!!!" Not sure how he winks and smiles at the same time that he's shouting, I guess he's the one with the dark powers...but I digress. My plan is to print and laminate him or maybe two of him to attach to the laces of my running shoes. Then while I'm training I can look down at his stupid little grin and think of how I'm going to stomp his face on September 7. I might even find a way to attach them to the soles of my shoes for the actual run, just for the symbolic stomping-ness of it.
Doesn't this look like it deserves stomping?
"But Zann!" you might say, "You weigh 240 lbs! It's a wonder you can run at all, let alone run 'El Devil'. Or wait, is it 'The Diablo'? Yeah, that one..." To that I would respond with two things:
First - have you seen the tree trunks I run with?
Yes, that's me recently finishing the Provo Freedom Run. Yes, that's really my face - I was pushing hard to finish strong up a relatively decent grade, ok? And yes, I really am holding my hands that way - I have no idea... And yes, I did jack this picture from Zazoosh's site (I had to take a screen capture 'cause they disabled the right-click and save...). For all I know they'll get angry at me and make me take it down, but for now, take a look - a close look - at my leg there. Do you see it? Isn't it majestic? Like a mighty sequoia. How did I come about having legs the size of a large sapling? I don't know, but aren't they beautiful? Now do you see how I plan on stomping on The El Diablo Devil's face in a couple of months? That's right, one tree trunk at a time.
TIMBER!!!
An artist's rendering of Mr. The El Devil Diablo, post-stompage. Somehow, the grin just never goes away...
Ok, so in truth I really am excited for this challenge, and terrified is maybe too strong of a word to describe the other side of my feelings about it. Healthy respect would be better. After my attempt at BST on Wednesday, I have something of an idea what I'm up against, although BST doesn't quite match the altitude of
And that's where this blog gets a glimmer of hope that it might survive. I'm going to continue to detail what I eat each day, which will (hopefully) be oatmeal for breakfast, a salad with some protein (tuna or egg whites?) for lunch, and whatever normal dinner we have, along with fruits and veggies for snacks, almost no sweets (I have to make exceptions for special occasions or especially special treats) and trying to drink only milk and water. We'll see if I can keep it up. I'll try to keep
The other part of this plan is to add another wrinkle to my training. From now on, every Wednesday is when I hit the BST again, hopefully with increasingly successful results. That also means that I'll be posting Wednesday BS(T) on the blog. There should be at least 7 installments of said chronicles, so I hope you're looking forward to it!
Anybody? Bueller? That's right, I just referenced Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Don't hate on my tired 80's movie reference, ok?
In honor of my newly aggressive-ized training and weight loss goals, I had one last fling with my old flame Overeating before the impending finalization of our break-up last night. My wife and I got a babysitter for the older two kids and brought baby with us to Olive Garden, where I proceeded to eat like an absolute pig (details below). Later that night, I was grumpy and had heartburn, and my stomach was upset this morning. I think this will be an easier break-up than I thought. Goodbye, Overeating! I'll let you know how it goes. I'm out of things to say now.
Here's the food:
- Oatmeal with sugar
- 1 cup Cherries
- 12" Subway BLT with provolone, lettuce, tomato, pickles, olives, banana peppers, green peppers, southwest chipotle sauce
- 1 slice Grandma Sycamore bread
- Olive Garden:
- 4 or 5 breadsticks
- Ravioli di Portobello
- Coke
- Salad
- Zeppoli (These might be the most delicious thing I've ever put in my mouth...seriously!)
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